My own OCD has been quieter than usual lately. I keep wondering how much longer now before it comes roaring back with the force it once had. I’ve wanted to just pretend it never was. I’m scared I may once again unexpectedly be triggered and lose all this progress. I also know I must accept and prepare for the next challenge because every fellow OCD sufferer has told me it will happen. Cyclical. No one could express it better than Anna, in this wonderfully written post. Thank you Anna. I needed to hear it from someone who has gone ahead of me on this road.
I’ve been pretty quiet, even though I’m bubbling over with stuff to share. I feel free and terrified and growing.Maybe these things need to sit, to work down into me before I broadcast them into this tiny corner of the interwebs.
I’ve been realizing -and practicing- belief as a choice, not a feeling. Sounds elementary, I know. It’s something I’ve known at a superficial level for a while, but the truth and experience of it is sinking down into me. I realized the other day that I don’t have to feel that Jesus is with me, has been with me through all of this pain, in order to believe it. I get to CHOOSE what to believe. I use to find that prospect terrifying. It’s still pretty scary, but now I see the beautiful freedom in it as well.
And so I’ve been unweaving the heavy, soul-crushing chains that…
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